University students – look here for amusement

YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN IN UNIVERSITY TOO LONG WHEN…

? You actually like doing laundry at home where the washing machines work.
? Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.
? You’d rather clean than study especially if an essay is due.
? Oh shit how did it get so late!” comes out of your mouth at least once a night.
? Parents’ cooking becomes something you desire, not avoid.
? You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soap operas – especially neighbours and Hollyoaks.
? You know the pizza boy by name and don’t even need to read the menu.
? You go to sleep when it’s light and get up when it’s dark.
? You live for getting mail.
? Looking out the window is a form of entertainment.
? Prank phone calls become funny again.
? You start thinking and sounding like your friends and your accent becomes a hybrid of West Country, Surrey and general Northern.
? Highlighters are the coolest things on earth.
? Rearranging your room is your favourite pastime.
? Rubbish cheap £1 shops are so cool.

BEFORE I CAME TO UNIVERSITY, I WISH I HAD KNOWN…

? That it didn’t matter how late my first lecture was, I’d still sleep through it.
? That I could change so much and barely realize it.
? That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.
? No matter how ‘cool’ you were in school, no one here cares.
? That if you wear polyester everyone will ask why you are so dressed up.
? That every clock on campus shows a different time.
? That if you got good a-levels, so what? It doesn’t matter here.
? That I would go to a party the night before an exam or essay due-date.
? That you can know everything and fail a test.
? That you can know nothing and ace a test.
? That I could get used to almost anything found out about my friends.
? That most of my education would be obtained outside of lectures.
? That friendship is more than getting drunk together but that’s still funny……!
? That Sunday is a figment of the world’s imagination.
? That Psychology is really Biology, that Biology is really Chemistry, that Chemistry is really Physics and that Physics is really Maths.
? That my parents would become so much smarter in the last few years.

TOP 10 REASONS THAT UNIVERSITY IS LIKE PRIMARY SCHOOL

1. You cry for your mum.
2. You cross the street without looking for cars.
3. Snack time is a necessity.
4. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like (because everyone else looks as stupid as you do).
5. You stay at home and play games with your friends. – or make about 30 feet of paper chains out of Tesco magazines
6. You wear your backpack on both shoulders.
7. You wear big mittens.
8. Playing in the snow is a legitimate activity
9. You take naps.
10. You look forward to cheese toasties

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